Phase 1 is not about getting better.
On the one hand, what the fuck? Isn’t that what this is all about? On the other hand, what a relief to stop that obsession for just a second. And a second might be all you can do for a while. That’s okay. This takes practice.
The idea is to gently redirect your energy from worry, trying to figure it out, thinking about how bleak things are, or how much worse they could get…to pause that spiral for a moment and offer yourself some compassion and comfort for how painful this all is.
Self-Guided Practice
Notice you are worrying/spinning/future-tripping/feeling bad.
Take a sigh. Make it audible (frustrated is great).
Take a deep breath.
Place a hand on your heart.
Ask yourself, “How do I feel?”
Start with physical sensations. Speak them out loud for best effect. “My heart is racing. My jaw is tight. I feel hot.” Then name emotions. The word because is off limits. Resist the temptation to say an emotion and then go right back into describing why it is so bad and won’t ever go away. Emotion words only! “I feel scared. I feel anxious. I feel lonely”.
Ask yourself, “What do I need in this exact moment?”
Listen for an answer, then do your best to give that to yourself or seek it out. Examples: comfort, praise, rest. Listen for answers that are actionable right now. So not, “I need my pain to go away.”
Guided Practices
These audios from Kristin Neff are true gems. I suggest listening to at least one a day for the full program, but especially during Phase 1.